Awareness is perhaps the most important skill. Without awareness of the environment and the self, we are just a passenger in our own life. But what if we opened our eyes and ears a little more? What if we invested another moment to think more deeply about what our conversation partner just said or did? Then more awareness can possibly result in increased compassion and mutual understanding. This in turn could bring a bunch of positive things: a happier workplace, a closer friendship, a more meaningful partnership.
Rethink
Consider the following situation: you are being fired due to economical reasons. You probably feel disappointed and angry. You are wondering, why this happens to you. Maybe you start to play the blame game with your former employer. All these reactions are normal, but they won’t help you. Instead, accept the termination of your contract as a fact and start to think about your former employer from a place of understanding and empathy. Try to put yourself in her shoes and understand the circumstances. It is more valuable to take the learnings from the situation for future improvement than to waste energy on things you cannot control.
Self-awareness and Triggers
My self-awareness journey took a leap during my altMBA-course where we have practised constructive peer feedback on our assignments. It was the first time that people from many different international backgrounds commented on my work. It was truly eye-opening getting so many different views and reflecting on them. It was also back then when I started to meditate and immerse in topics like mental health, workplace happiness and coaching. All these fields rely on a thorough understanding of mankind.
Once your eyes are open, the possibilities are endless. – Quote from the bike movie Unreal.
I am by far not a specialist in psychology or human resource management. But the more closely I watch and listen to people the more insight and understanding I gain about people and myself. If you can recognize your biases, triggers, and reactions you can work on them. The challenge is that in the beginning, you realize them only after a certain situation. Afterwards, one is always wiser. That has to do with the fact that emotions limit our ability to solution-based, focused thinking. Start by getting aware that there are circumstances that trigger your reactions and emotions. These can be words, people, certain situations, or surroundings. Look out for them, write them down and practise spotting them.
Awareness and Understanding
Awareness of yourself and the people around you can lead to a more profound understanding of people and foster compassion and empathy. Without awareness of our own actions, it is impossible to truly understand other people. How will you ever be able to lead people, be able to role model, be a north star or at least someone who people take seriously?
Practice Understanding
Do not overcomplicate things but be aware that our species is a very complex system. Just think of people as individuals who might see the world differently than you. It is based on hundreds of factors including childhood, education, worldview, and experience. Just try to be aware that there could be differences and they have nothing to do with you.
This understanding is a great starting point for awareness. In the next step, you can try to resist the urge to react to something just said or done. For example, if a person disagrees with you pause for a second, breathe and think about it. Is it worth discussing? Are there any chances that he will understand you given his background, mindset, and worldview? I know this could be very hard at times but you will get better at it.
Also, think about how your words and behaviours may be received by others. Ask yourself: How could my behaviour affect other people? Could things that I say to be interpreted in more than one way? Can I rephrase my thoughts to put more clarity to my words?
Finally, if you really want to make big improvements in your personal development journey then seek feedback. Be aware that feedback comes in many forms and people are not generally educated in giving useful, constructive feedback. Foster a growth mindset and educate yourself in getting feedback well.
Conclusion
People are different. Everyone has his or her own filtering system for the self and the world. More mindful awareness of your environment, people and your thoughts and behaviours can lead to more understanding. More understanding can lead to more empathy and compassion.
Start by looking and listening more closely to practice awareness. Try to be less reactive. Pause. Breathe. Think. Seek feedback. You will then be well prepared for a more conscious and self-aware life.
Blog post photo by Jose A.Thompson on Unsplash.